I fell in love with Transformers the first day it premiered. Massive didn’t even begin to describe it. It was mind blowing, hilarious and endlessly entertaining. In short – it had Shia LaBeouf. Having Shia’s somewhat ‘interesting’ mix of features, hefty roles don’t come easy. Heck, main roles in summer blockbusters normally don’t go to guys without a six pack and muscles popping ridiculously all over the place. Which was why I was rooting for Shia since he first burst onto the big screen, screaming for all he was worth, trying to save his ass from flying missiles and inevitably, to save the world. Epic.
So after having his star almost certainly next on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, why didn’t Shia manage to save the day from Hollywood’s worst critics? Comments such as “ I’d call it a typical summer blockbuster but then that’d be an insult to summer blockbusters” and ‘ Loud, long and utterly incomprehensible. ‘Revenge of the Fallen’ is an exquisitely painful experience that pummels the senses as it confounds the intellect” don’t exactly praise you to the skies, no?
In truth, it all boils down to Michael’s famous penchant for blowing things up. His once renowned action scenes have almost certainly overstayed their welcome. The scenes in which Michael desperately tries to duplicate the success, which his first film garnered by pitting an army of robots against each other until you couldn’t tell who was fighting who, definitely proves that more isn’t necessarily a good thing.
Also, as a so-called superior alien race, I would expect a certain type of alien ‘behavior’. So robots who can ‘shuck n’ jive’ as well as speak to each other African-American style? So now we are the race to beat… or perhaps these robots of a ‘superior race’ have taken so much to speaking like us that they decide to emulate us whilst trying to save us from our destructive selves.
Next up, an attempt at crude comedy- huge mistake…. disastrous even. In a scene where a monstrous robot tears up one of the pyramids in Egypt, a soldier declares, “ I’m under his balls”. A robot…with balls…. and right on the heels of the last movie centering around the Cube-their life source…It doesn’t get any more dumb than this.
Fortunately, Michael did get one thing right, he identified with the teenage male-and I daresay female-demographic. Shia’s character Sam Witwicky - whose awkward, geeky charm is swoon-worthy if you like the sensitive yet goofy type – is starting his first year in college and is still holding on to his ridiculously hot girlfriend, Mikaela (played by the hotpants-clad Megan Fox).
Take for example, the scene in the Egyptian desert where Mikaela- wearing an oh-so-tiny top- falls over after narrowly escaping getting embedded into the sand by one of the Decepticons. Zooming in onto Megan Fox’s cleavage, I swear, all guys were at the edge of their seats. Another girl joining the babe fest is Alice, a co-ed in Sam’s college who makes advances on him to steal any information he has on the whereabouts of the Sun Harvester-the main reason for all the fuss the Fallen’s making. With 2 such hot girls flaunting their God given assets on screen, it’s no wonder why more than 70% of the people seated alongside me in the cinema were testosterone-fuelled guys under the age of 30. And don’t forget the US military with the adorable Josh Dumahel playing Major William Lennox. Hey, at least they provided eye candy for us girls too.
Putting hot bods, crude jokes, neurotic parents who grate on the nerves, confusing battle scenes all tied together with a plot so full of holes aside, the movie was pretty enjoyable. There was some fantastically funny moments-check out the scene when Sam tries to stop Bumblebee from following him to college. Even if the battle scenes were confusing, you’ve got to admit they were pretty awesome. The film reached its pinnacle in one such action packed-piece that took place in the forest. A brilliantly crafted battle scene between good and evil with arms getting ripped off, ending with Optimus Prime getting impaled through the chest by Megatron.
So if you’re looking for something to really sink your teeth into and give those brain cells a workout, you’re probably better off staring into space. If however, you don’t mind getting your senses pummeled by loud groans and blinding flashes in favour of hot bods and things getting blown to bits in any and every way imaginable, this is the movie for you. As for me, Megan Fox is reason enough. XD
By Rebekah Leong
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